Found this killer testimonial from two backpacker guest from several years ago (around 2000-2001) while cleaning my computer. Found in January 2005. Sorry guys, I didn't realize that my good-natured jokes combined with fake fangs may have such a devastating effect.

dear readers!

i hope there is someone out there who can help me, or at least give me some adivce. i'm in moscow, russia, and i'm in a very desperate situation! and no, 'uncle pasha' will not get me out of this -- in fact, he's at the very center of the problem.

but let me start from the beginning.. a friend and i decided to go to russia. why not, we wanted to see the wild east and both of us love adventure. so, we got the cheapest visa support (via www.arthostel.net) and off we went. so upon arriving in moscow, we set off to look for this arthostel, which it turns out, is being renovated. after walking through the city with all our luggage for several hours, we finally found an internet cafe. looking for cheap accomodation, we stumbled on uncle pasha's site (www.unclepasha.com). we weren't really convinced.. living on the couch of this wierd old bearded dude... but what were we to do? we had no money (a cheap-looking hotel we came across wanted to charge us $100!!) and desperately needed a place to stay.

so, off we went.. and now, get this, HERE'S THE INSIDER SCOOP OF WHAT STAYING WITH UNCLE P IS REALLY LIKE.

OK, his couch is like 20 years old. his baby daughter wakes you up screaming at five in the morning and his washing machine is broken. No problem with that. At $25 for BOTH of us within walking distance from the Kremlin can't complain. It is not what he offers (everything at a rather spartan level) or what he charges (as cheap as it gets within the Garden Ring), but what he is up to..

we ask him about visa registration and he just tells us not to worry -- the worst outcome is that we'll be sent to prison camp in siberia, but they definitely won't kill us. all cheap hotels seem to be booked out, we have no money for an expensive

one (and they are in moscow!), so we seem to be confined to staying with him, and now we are getting concerned.

and then he started asking us these questions...

'are your parents rich? will they pay for food parcels to bail you out of trouble?' and then he goes on advising us how to GET INTO trouble!

'have you ever thought about going to siberia?'
(adding that he'll get us a free one-way ticket)

'what is your favorite food?'
'you know, i've got this service of sending food packages to russian prisons. my commission is 10%'

i'm telling you, he's f...ing serious about this!! i overheard him talking to his wife, telling her that he's going to call customs to alert them about us. of course, we're clean. but this is russia! he'll just pay customs to smuggle some drugs into our stuff, and get us sent to prison. this what he does. and cashes off on our food packages. but i think the money is secondary. he likes to see foreigners suffer in russia. and we don't know what to do. we have to go through customs, even if we head home right away. and we don't know anybody in moscow who could help us. i've called the embassy, but they just told us that nothing has happened and it's not their problem.. in fact they almost laughed in our face when they suggested we contact the crisis hotline and talk to a psychologist.

so, please reply quickly. before uncle p reads this! and when he reads it (hi, uncle p! and we are posting this from your computer ha ha!!), he'll know that we know. maybe that will be better. maybe we can just bribe him up front to leave us alone, but we only took a few hundred dollar with us. russia is cheap, you know.. or so we thought

i will be so grateful for all help. and when we're home, we'll repay you!

john and dave


ps: if you think *we* are crazy, just come and stay with uncle pasha and you'll see for yourself. we discovered his misery tourism where he openly states he likes to make people suffer when it was too late. Don't believe it? see www.unclepasha.com/misery_russian.htm  for yourself!!

 

 

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