Studio apartment in the very center of Moscow

It's a mystery why this old page shows up so well. But yes, the offer is entirely valid. An apartment in the very center of Moscow, steps from Red Square, is available from me. Yes, direct from me, the famous Uncle Pasha. The rate is $120/night, $700/week, $2000/month. Or, as many cunning and crafty Moscow landlords would say, "From $67/night", which indeed is the rate if you take it for a month or more. I was one of these Indian types I would even say $25/night with "based one one month rental and three person occupancy" in small print. See the new description at my www.cheap-moscow.com and the availability schedule. Speaking of which, the price is already low for the place and the location but I'll still welcome non-insulting offers if you fit nicely into holes in the schedule. Scroll down if for whatever reason you want to see a 3-5 year old unfinished page that somehow managed to cheat search engines. Or write to paul_voytinsky@yahoo.com with a copy to manfriday@yandex.ru, or use this form. The new and probably final version of my Rooms and Apartments project is www.cheap-moscow.com 

 


 

 

Studio apartment
in the very center of Moscow

direct from the webmaster,
the famous Uncle Pasha.

I don't like TripAdvisor, FlipKey and such for their heaviness and something else I can't articulate. But since business is slow and since I've already lost my innocence by letting irrelevant advertising onto my site here is more of it....

Find Moscow Vacation Rentals on FlipKey

 $120/night, $700/week,
$2000/month

The new de-cluttered description is HERE. This is my first attempt to create a positive and even glamorous page.

Availability dates >>

My apartment on the map of Moscow >>

Photos (a total of over 100) of the neighbourhood >>

Write 
Response time from near instant to a few hours.

If the situation warrants it but not otherwise use the phone. The number is
+7 985 217 3241

Feedback >>

A room or a place to sleep may also be available at around $30/person but no reservations possible for room rental. For room offers see my http://www.cheap-moscow.com/homestay.htm

By renting from him you not only save money and enjoy unsurpassed conveniences and support. You keep this character exiled to his dacha in the Tver region boonies. No running water, outhouse facilities, spoiled horses as the main form of transportation etc. etc. Let justice be served! Make Moscow a better place!! Make Pasha stay away!!!

 $120/night, $700/week, $2000/month.

If there are more than two guests, I will ask for extra $10/day each as a tip to my underpaid and overworked housekeeper and all-around assistant Valentina. Non-destructive kids/pets don't count as persons, no extra fees..

 

Those who book **well** in advance or neatly fit into openings in the schedule can also ask for discounts.
 

 


Attention physically impaired
This is the only step you'll need to take. No steps from the street to the elevator! The elevator however is too small for most wheelchair models.

 


Do not contribute to air pollution. Too many cars on the road will end up posing serious health risks. Avoid subway. This 5-speed bike is available to my guests but you must pay your bill first and tell me whom to notify in case of emergency.

Soon!
In the Summer of 2010 a scooter will be available to my guests. I'm even thinking of a small cheap car. .


Feedback on the idea is invited. If I sense enough support I will be getting a super-economical and non-polluting Honda Cub (above). It is rare and expensive however. If the response is lukewarm it probably will be some cheap two stroke Chinese model instead.

 

 


BICYCLE RENTAL >>
Hosts with bicycles are highlighted on the Rooms & Homestays page of my www.cheap-moscow.com project.
 

How safe is the neighbourhood at night? See a series of night-time photos of the immediate area >>

www.CapitalTourist.Com
Hire us to support you on your Moscow trip and manage it safely.
Avoid any problem and unforeseen
circumstances on your Moscow journey.
Have fun not troubles.

Need just a room?
See the
Rooms/B&B/homestays
page of my
www.cheap-moscow.com
project. The way things are in the summer of 2009, $25/night or around $600/month will get you a very decent room

Invitations from me are available for $50/each. Registration $80 per month, less if you need it for several months.

Since many of my guests make a living by text generation here is a list of book places within walking distance:

Book Swap Club
There is a shelf with books in English at the Starbucks on Tulskaya (2 stops from Polyanka by Molodaya Gvardiya - another book place). You can take books from there for free, or leave your books in English.

Molodaya Gvardia Bookstore
has a section with English books and CD. Not much. Mostly adapted stuff for students. Right by metro Polyanka. Walk towards the Tretyakov Gallery and then further west till you see a revolutionary hero showing a big fist. Turn left. Walk for another 5 min. The store will be on your right.

Britannica?

...........

Superb location: on the canal 10-15 min. walk over the bridge to Red Square!

Quiet. No shared walls, and there are only 8 apartments on the whole floor.

Air conditioning


This powerful climate control system can also work as a heater in the fall. Important in October and November and then in April and May, when central heating is off!

Perfect for two but sleeps 3 or even 4 comfortably. Double bed, fold-out couch, two mattresses in the loft. See the FLOOR PLAN


Fresh photo of the bedroom, after the Jan. 2007 upgrade. In addition, there is a couch and two mattresses on the loft. The loft is accessed via a ladder and thus should be used with great caution.
[REPLACE WITH NEW BED]


This is the loft. Accessed via a ladder so you need to be well-coordinated to get there and back safely. Great for kids. Can be used for storage.

Complete with essentials. My housekeeper and all-around assistant Valentina keeps the apartment well supplied with hundreds of little things moderns humans think they need.


Shoe dryer 
[Add air dryer and several toothbrushes for the forgetful. Blood pressure meter for the stressed out..]

Computer, printer, fast Internet


Internet-wired computer, additional cable for your notebook, printer and scanner that together act as a photocopier, local telephone line on an "unlimited local calls" plan.. Consider that hotel business centers will charge you $15-20/hour to use the Internet. Local calls will also cost something. 

Cell phone is once again available for our guests. no extra charge. you are responsible only for the actual air time, local rateS. and for its loss of course but it is a cheap model (around $60). .

July 2009  -  Fast mobile internet that you can use on 80% of Moscow's territory!!!! works with the apartment computer, or you can use it with yours elsewhere in Moscow. Connection quality personally tested by me. 54mb/sec!


October 20 2009  Available on request only. These little gadgets left unattended tend to disappear.

Wi-fi

This small kitchen will help make your stay cozy and inexpensive. Coffee, sugar, oil and other standard stuff is usually there. On request Valentina can have a refrigerator full of your favourite food waiting for you.


Refrigerator, baking stove, water filter, utensils, hot plate, coffee maker, small table, tea, coffee, salt, spices, oils..

[KITCHEN UPGRADED - REPLACE PHOTO!!!!]
 


In this VERY QUIET refrigerator you will usually find a couple of beers, a few potatoes, some corn or rapeseed oil for frying, Kikkoman or other quality soy sauce... Enough to last you till you recover from your trip.
October 20 2009 
The practice discontinued as food in the refrigerator provokes requests for free services and results in client dissatisfaction when these services are not delivered.

COMPLIMENTARY ASSISTANCE WITH SHOPPING FOR VEGETARIANS.
MORE VEGGIE STUFF HERE.

Electric coffee grinder, manual coffee grinder for snobs, French press, Turkish coffee pot, and the best coffee I can find.

NO drip type coffee maker. NO microwave oven. Don't even ask for these.  I stay in the apartment myself during temporary leaves from my rural exile and I don't like gadgets. Any "instant coffee" you may find here was brought by other guests and does not officially exist.

  • Washer and dryer


The toilet is NOT in a separate cubicle the way it is in many "Soviet" apartments and lacks that horrible "see what you've done" shelf.

Invitation & visa registration available "at cost", around $50 for the tourist invitation and $80 for registration. Documents picked up and delivered, no need for you to do any running around.

Suitable for travellers with special needs: non-destructive pets/kids welcomed; "better than average" wheelchair access; complimentary package to vegetarian travellers; special consideration to zealots and do-gooders regardless whether or not I subscribe to your cause. While I'm a constitutionally lukewarm type, I like people with a vision and a mission, and will try to be of extra assistance to these..

Easy deposit/payment procedure: personal cheque to London, Ontario, PayPal, or cash in Moscow. In some cases solid reservation may be accepted without a deposit, based on your promissory note signed in blood.

Testimonials from the majority of my guests are of positive nature. Read them here or check out/contribute to my Guestbook.

 

Apartment booked?
See my www.cheap-moscow.com. Assistance with apartment search in "decently budget" range is available from my competitor Olesya.
My housekeeper and all Valentina is aware of a couple of well maintained and conveniently located "under $120" options.
You will not be left out on the street. Nor forced to check into a $400 hotel room.

Hard-core budget travellers
will find places from $25/night and even a few "free accommodation in exchange for English" offers at my www.cheap-moscow.com/homestay.htm

 


Moscow prices don't impress you? Can't resist Moscow's temptations?
 Consider my dacha in the Tver region between Moscow & St. Petersburg.

VIP service $50/person/day for EVERYTHING.
Yes, food, drinks, horse riding, boat, even up to two hours of cheerful attitude on my part.

The "ordinary mortal" rate is $35. Total self-service. Then there is the farm slavery option for those who can't even contribute that. Off-season weekday specials are regularly announced. The rate may go as low as $100/week in some cases!
See www.russian-horse-rides.com or www.staritsa.info/staritsa.htm for more details. Or just write to me.

 


The bathroom. Note the small electric heater that acts as a backup for the centrall hot water supply.



Another photos of the bedroom. The pink thing on your left is for a wardrobe cabinet.


The living room, looking from the front door. (The small work station on your right has been replaced by a huge desk; new photos soon.)


A view from the living room onto the front door.

DISCLAIMER:
I WAS TOLD THE PHOTOS MAKE THE PLACE LOOK BIGGER THAN IT REALLY IS. AGAIN, THIS IS A COMPACT APARTMETN. THE TOTAL AREA IS NO MORE THAN 300 SQUARE FEET NOT COUNTING BATHROOM AND THE LOFT.

Old photos


MORE VIEWS FROM THE WINDOW


[photo to be replaced]


Maps, directories, city guides. You are of course welcomed to contact me or my all-around assistant Valentina with any where/how questions.


Modern TV and CD player.

CHANNELS IN ENGLISH, GERMAN, FRENCH
DISCLAIMER: MODERN TV SET WITH FOUR CONTROL PANELS IS LIGHT YEARS AHEAD OF MY DWINDLING INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY.  DON'T ASK ME HOW TO MAKE IT WORK.  VALENTINA GOT THIS CYBER-MONSTER INTO MY HUMBLE ABODE. DIRECT ALL TV-RELATED QUESTIONS TO HER. SHE CAN SET FOREIGN CHANNELS UP FOR YOU. A TIP WILL BE EXPECTED. NO TV-RELATED QUESTIONS TO ME PLEASE.

apt_ovch_sm.jpg (6605 bytes)


The friendly and helpful housekeeper Valentina (left) will keep the place tidy and help you with whatever you need. She is also under strict orders from me to put a stop to any annoying or dangerous conduct :)

Valentina is now too busy with her Russian brides project to be involved with the technicalities of this apartment. Instead the effective housekeeper is Tania.


And that's the famous Uncle Pasha in his Rasputin mode. By renting his apartment you in effect keep him exiled to his cabin, away from the civilized humanity, to the joy and benefit of us all.

Visitor policy
& other ugly stuff

I encourage you to enjoy your privacy and to invite guests.

At the same time it is totally unacceptable to bring prostitutes, women you just met in a bar, or other "off the street" people. You must know full name, address, and occupation of each and every visitor, and inform me of everyone who visits you "socially". Please use discretion and common sense or else I'll be forced to introduce rules like "no guests" or even "no single men under 40".

A couple of years ago bad judgment on the part of one of my guests resulted in a major theft. Please, no one needs any of that. Before that indiscreet bar contact led to an robbery attack.

I've instructed my housekeeper and all-around assistant  Valentina (Tina) to closely  monitor what is happening in the apartment for both your safety and my peace of mind. She is under strict orders to put a stop to any nonsense using whatever means necessary.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

 

DISCLAIMERS

The apartment and all in and around it is available "as is". Please don't  hold me responsible for mishaps and incidents. If you prefer a fully controlled environment as far as such is possible in a probabilistic universe, stay in one of the better hotels. Kempinsky is just 200 yards and will welcome you for $500/night.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

You are responsible for any damages beyond normal wear and tear.

DENIAL OF SERVICE

I've been around long enough to earn the privilege to be prejudiced. If I feel, based on my past experience and my understanding of how this &*!@!! world operates, that I cannot look after your needs in a manner acceptable to everyone, I will tell you so. Be assured that there will be no unmotivated or unexplained denial of service. 

 

WRITE  
for a near-instant response
In emergency call +7 985 217 3241


Horse riding the the dacha experience ~ Vegetarian  ~  Sane English-speaking Drivers
Between Moscow & St. Petersburg ~
Business Services ~ Accommodation in Moscow ~ Accommodation in St. Petersburg
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direct from the webmaster the famous "Uncle Pasha"
apartment
one bedroom+loft=two private sleeping spaces, comfortably accommodates 2-4 persons.
Central, great view
free unlimited internet (hotels will charge you $7-20/hour!)
washer (A TYPICAL LOAD WILL COST YOU $25-30 IN A HOTEL)
INTENDED FOR A TRAVELLER WHO WANTS FUNCTIONALITY, COMFORT (as opposed to luxury), LOCATION, and value (not "economy" but "biggest bang for the buck")

$120/night single or double occupancy, $10/night extra for each additional person, $100/night if you are staying a week or longer.
 

write me            FULL CONTACT INFO           AVAILABILITY DATES

I can now arrange for a tourist invitation ($50, same day). Registration no problem. $25 (at cost) to my clients; $40 to others.. [Details]

best location in Moscow

7-10 min. WALK from the Red Square
10 min. to the Tretyakov Fine Arts Gallery
Museums, restaurants, subway stations
within easy walking distance.
Comfortably accommodates two or three persons.

 

FLOOR PLAN

and more on the way
More info and photos 

Prices, payment terms, and reservations

Rules


The neighbourhood

Testimonials

Travellers with special needs

Traveller support

Contact sheet
 

Introducing Lunch-the-rat. The apartment comes equipped with a resident rodent. Recommended to travellers with kids. Warning: may bite or scratch if handled roughly. His bites are probably safe because he bit, with no ill consequences, just about everyone at the Children's Shelter of the City of Staritsa. I wheedled the beast from the kids as a gratitude for directing charitable support their way. Don't like rats? Rodent removal service is available. For $2.98 That's all it take to have Lunch locked for a day/night in a storage room outside the apartment.

 

Lunch-the-rat has passed away on September 13, 2005

Buried at my dacha near Staritsa, Tver region.

While on the subject, PETS ARE WELCOMED but you assume entire financial responsibility for any damages resulting from your pets.  Or your guests. Or you. Please note that damage can be efficiently repaired only at premium prices, i.e. about what you would pay in London or New York.  Also note that you are only responsible by damaged caused by your action, mistake, or gross oversight. If things break down on their own while you are here you are not responsible beyond having to notify me, the housekeeper, fire fighters, neighbours, or whatever appears appropriate. 

 

 

AIR CONDITIONING

HIGH-TECH WINDOWS
 
TO KEEP NOISE & DUST AWAY

FHIGH-SPEED INTERNET ACCESS, COMPUTER, PRINTER, SCANNER, MOBILE PHONE

WHAT-WHERE-HOW QUESTIONS ANSWERED OVER THE PHONE

24 HOUR EMERGENCY ASSISTANCE

NEIGHBOURHOOD ORIENTATION TOUR, NO CHARGE

LONG DISTANCE WITHOUT HOTEL SURCHARGE

UNLIMITED CALLS WITHIN MOSCOW

$120/night per night for 1-2 persons.
The place can accommodate 3-4 persons but in this case a $10/person/night tip to my housekeeper Valentina for her extra effort and to keep me from hearing her nagging will be expected.

ALSO, IF YOU RENT MY APARTMENT THROUGH AN AGENT, YOU MAY HAVE A 10-15% SURCHARGE ADDED TO YOUR BILL TO COVER THE COMMISSION.

On the other hand, those renting it for over 7 nights or more can expect a discount (to $100). Monthly rent, if available, will be around $2200.

Well-supplied with essentials yet uncluttered. As central as it gets, and as quiet as one can reasonably expect in the center of Moscow. Cleaned daily or as arranged with the housekeeper. Additional services available. Emergency assistance 24 hours a day.

apt_ovch_sm.jpg (6605 bytes)

Disclaimer: The entrance hall is still your average Moscow type despite all my efforts. First-time travellers and sensitive souls should stay in western-managed hotels. The nearest hotel, Balchug-Kempinsky, is just 200 yards away. Rates start at $400/night [this info is 4-5 years old; probably $700 now]. Complainers will be taken there and left at the reception desk.

 

Visitor policy & other ugly stuff

I encourage you to enjoy your privacy and to invite guests.

At the same time it is totally unacceptable to bring in prostitutes, women you just met in a bar, or other "off the street" people. You must know full name, address, and occupation of each and every visitor, and inform me of everyone who visits you "socially". Please use discretion and common sense or else I'll be forced to introduce rules like "no guests" or even "no single men under 40".

Recently bad judgment on the part of some of my guests who got into excessive partying resulted in a major theft. Please, no one needs any of that.

I've instructed my housekeeper Tina to closely  monitor what is happening in the apartment for both your safety and my peace of mind.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Pasha

 

 

A letter from me for your visa sponsor no problem. Registration can be arranged for a small fee intended to cover costs. As of June 2006 the total cost of e-mailed tourist invitation is $50, done same or next day. Registration is $25 to my clients, and $40 for others for up to one month. Registration for up to one year possible!

 

After a succession of clients from from hell from among Russian women seekers I am forced to suspend services (including apartment rental) to this crowd. If you plan to use the services of me or my close associates please be prepared to provide a legitimate reason why you travel to Russia. Business or academic interests are acceptable. "Just travel" is sort of OK. Anything else is suspect. Sports fan are non grata and all British or Australian nationals are suspect. My respect for music notwithstanding, I will ask the practitioners of this art to stay elsewhere after a few complaints from neighbours. 

 

 

$$
Payment can be made by cheque sent to my bank in London, Ontario. PayPal can be used for small amounts. Contact me for details.

 

== > Next ==>

Also see
The Neighbourhood  

paul_voytinsky@yahoo.com
FULL Contact info

A view onto the canal
will be appreciated by those who know what Moscow will normally look like from an apartment window. Red Square is to your left across two bridges (direct distance about half a mile).

 

 

You are by the window looking at the apartment entrance door. Kitchen corner on the right. Bedroom to the left. Note the den on top. Great for kids or guests. You'll find two mattresses and a set of linen there too.

 

 

Computerized work station, decent printer, scanner (= handy for copying documents), reliable high-speed Internet access..

A sketch of the Moscow city center showing the location of my apartment

 

Courtesy cell phone. Free to my guests.
Because I care about your safety and convenience.

 

My apologies to those who who got used to expecting my pages to be subversive, provocative or otherwise offensive. Present circumstances (Chechen rebels, falling planes, government visa policies that don't encourage international travel on the one hand and mounting expenses with our rural project on the other) forced me to come up with this wimpy creation. Please be assured that I did sneak something that betrays my bad attitude. Find it on this page and you get the preferred guest status and perhaps a free airport pickup.  ONLY TWO PERSONS NOTICED IT SO FAR!! Be assured you are looking into it right now.   August 31, 2005 - OK, SINCE VERY FEW GUESSED RIGHT AND NOW I AM DOING WELL ENOUGH TO AFFORD LOSING AN OCCASIONAL CLIENT OR TWO, HERE IS THE SECRET REVEALED: THE BACKGROUND OF THIS PAGE IS HORSE SHIT SUPPLIED BY SURPRISE.


Economy  travellers check  Rooms & Homestays and Free Accommodation in Exchange for English

A compilation of apartments, bed and breakfast offers, homestays, budget hotels in Moscow, St. Petersburg, along the Trans-Siberian railroad etc., mostly direct from landlords and hosts. Even some free offers! See www.cheap-moscow.com

 

Now making a serious effort to document Tver, Staritsa, and other places between Mosow and St. Petersburg. The doing this project I have in mind an independent budget traveller who seeks authenticity and wants to see rural and small-town Russia.  See www.staritsa.info 

Main index:
www.unclepasha.com

 

Visit my dacha where you can ride horses, do boating, and partake in other wholesome countryside fun. See www.russian-horse-rides.com. This $30/night all-included is becoming an attractive alternative in view of growing cost of living in Moscow.

Drivers with brains, capable of acting as your all-around assistants:
www.moscowdrivers.net

 


services
for
Russian bride seekers

 

Sites and projects I got started
for others:

Moldova:
www.marisha.net

Errands in Moscow:
www.russiangirlfriday.com

Custom-made sleighs and carriages:
www.faetons.com