October 20, 2009
READ THIS RANT BEFORE MAKING AN ENQUIRY
As of recent there has been an issue with some guests leaving the apartment in a state of mess. Over the last month I, having in effect assumed some of housekeeper's duties (Valentina is ill), have seen a lot of piss and hairs on the toilet, dishes with dried food particles left in the sink, towels stained with something I'd rather not even think about, clogged up bathtub drain, cigarette burns in mats and mattresses, ash on the desk in the immediate vicinity of the computer (!!!), garbage bags oozing with liquefied content etc. etc. At the risk of losing potential clients I hereby most forcefully repeat that the apartment - and all my other services - are available only to toilet-trained individuals. I'm prepared to make an exception for children under two if accompanied by a responsible grown-up. Or a puppy perhaps. But not for adult humans. This place is set up for a working traveller. That's the mode in which I use it when in Moscow and that's how I intend it to serve the travelling part of humanity. My apartment is NOT a place for partying, drinking, or marking territory with body fluids. Further, it has been noticed that those asking for discounts are more likely to offend than those who don't. Crisis or no crisis, no discounts no more. (Double negative is used intentionally to stress the point.)
PS. Can somebody tell me how women can leave drops on the toilet seat. Just don't see how such feat is mechanically possible. Have been wrecking my brains on this puzzle for a while. Just don't see it doable given parameters of our physical universe. Guess I should be happy there are still mysteries this world holds for me.