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THE SITUATION ~ ADVICE ~ LETTER ANALYZED ~ HAPPY END

A CASE STUDY: WHISTLE BLOWN IN TIME, HOAX DISCOVERED

INTRODUCTION

This story is SO typical that everyone in correspondence with a Russian woman should read it thoroughly.

In this case all the informtion required to discover the hoax was contained in the letters. People are the best witnesses agains themselves - if you only listen.

Analysis of letters is one of the best services our little consulting operation can offer.

Reproduced with permission.

THE SITUATION

.........Here is my situation: I have been in correspondence with someone who seems to be a beautiful young lady in Odessa, Ukraine.  Her name is Elena Carlsen (she says it is her ex-husband's name) at Odessa 65000, Filatova 35-a, kv.57, Ukraine.   I have no telephone number.  She has been very enthusiastic and thoughtful in her letters, all written in very good English.  I requested that she send me more picutres of herself with her daughter, which she is doing, and telephone number, which I have yet not received.

She said it was expensive for her to have internet service at home, so I willingly sent to her a small sum of money for that.  I realize this is number one danger signal, but my lonely heart over-rules what my brain is trying to tell me, and besides it was a small sum for an older man's sense of longing and vanity.  Now she says she would like to visit me in  USA.  That would cost her 1287 USD.

I am fighting with myself over suspicions that "she" may just be a scam artist.   Her letters are skillfully crafted, and have gone straight to my heart, as have her images.  It sounds stupid, but I am needing help in this matter, at least your expert Russian opinion.   If she is genuine I do not want to insult or offend her with my suspicion.  My mind tells me it is so unlikely that a beautiful young woamn as she appears to be would really have a genuine interest in me, although my aching heart wants to beleive otherwise.

If you could kindly send to me your opinion I would so much be grateful.  I am really a caring and sincere man, who wants to believe inpossibilities that are good, and lovely, even if unlikely.  But you have a knowledge and experience in these things I do not have.

I would be happy to pay a fee if required.

Thank you.
xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx, xxxxxxx, Virginia, USA

ADVICE WHAT TO LOOK AT

Dear xxxxxxxx -

Thank you for taking advantage of my advisory service. Usually I hear of
stories like that when it is too late.  First, speak with her over the
phone, and do that several times. Usually scam artists avoid direct phone
contact. Second, do check technical things, like time in her e-mail
messaged, to make her letters do not originate from the States. Once I
caught a crook by noticing this simple thing. Third, it is much better if
you come to Russia or Ukraine for your first meeting with her. If you wish,
send me copied of her letters, and the details of her biography
so that I see if her declared life story matches her language. If all looks
well, send her tickets, not money. Start with direct phone contact, and take
it from there. Hope that helps. Whatever you do, don't rush. Let me know how
the phone contact goes...

Paul Voytinsky
inbox@unclepasha.com, paul_voytinsky@yahoo.com
www.unclepasha.com

ANALYSYS OF THE LETTER

Here is an example of what to look for when reading a letter. MY WORDS ARE IN BOLD

>> Hello,
>> Many thanks for replaying on my add. I was very glad to receive your
>> message. Although I have to say that I am living in Odessa, Ukraine, ot
in
>> the USA. I know my add says so, but  that was mistake I think.
>> I am very glad that we have posibillity know each other throught
>internet,

Note that the sentence structure is profoundly American. Compare her text to
that of other Russians with whom you've corresponded. Even look at the salutation: Russians continue putting an an exclamation mark after the greeting for years and decades after moving to an English speaking country. That's the first sign that you are NOT dealing with a girl from Odessa. But let's see how her biographical details (education, work experience) square with her English.


>> because two persons wich live in different points of the world can meet
>and
>> be together. A couple words about me. Those words of me I prepared in the
>> past to tell about myself. It is an honest and accurate

Note "honest and accurate". There is no parallel to that in Russian. Expressions like "true and exact" or "deep and profund", where near-synonyms reinforce and compliment each other (another example!) are part of English style of thinking and writing. Other languages just don't have enough vocabulary for this style. Unless the author of your letter turns out to be an English professor at the University of Odessa I maintain she is not a Ukrainian girl.

description of me
>> and my personality. If it appeals to you I can promise you I am exactly
>how
>> I represent myself. You will never find a better and more loving,
>faithful,
>> devoted, woman than me.
>> So, my real name is Elena, but my parents and friends calls me Lena. I am
>> 25, my birthday is on the August 16, 1976, weight 52kg. (115 lbs) and my
>> height is 168(5.6). I have been married before and have a little angel
>named
>> Anastasia and she is going to 7 years old soon.

She knows the imperial system of weights and measures. It means that she
communicated with American men a lot in the past.

So she gave birth at 18, and writes like a professional. An unlikely combination.

You may as why she mentions her child. Because she is after "nice" older men, and a child is part of this defenceless image intended to activate your fatherly feelings.

>> I was born and now living in Odessa, south of Ukraine. It is about 500
>miles
>> from Kiev the capitol of Ukraine. In Odessa is about 1.500,000 people
hear
>> and one million in the bay area. I have my mother living in Odessa and
>> brother living in Moscow.
>> My mother is working for the University as a fisics teacher and my
brother
>> working at the bank (39 years old). My fater has passed away about 5
years
>> ago from the heart illness. Loosing my father has hurted me greatly and
>this
>> is something I hope I never have to go thru again. He was a great man. It
>> was a really sad way to see him go. But I know he is in no pain now.

Yes, she is skillfully activating the father figure motive. I admire how this is done, from the psychological point of view.

My
>Mom
>> lives in Odessa and is doing not very well since the passing of my Dad.
>She
>> and I are really close. She is really great.

It is not very typical for a Russian girl to talk of their parents. Nothing
criminal here, but a bit fishy. This is but a small addition to the sceptical cup of our scales.


>> After school I got married in Odessa. When I got divorced, I went to the
>> manager school and after one year I have finally finished it. Now I don't
>> work because I have to take care of my daughter.

That's getting interesting. Marriage after school, one year of college, a child at 18 - and a full command of idiomatic Engish! A serious mismatch and I see no easy explanation

The defence could say that perhaps she used the services of a translator. To that I'd point to her own words above that she speaks English well.

Also, note the old sick mother motive. Expect a sudden illness and a request
for money. Let's say you write her that at the moment you can't, for reasons
beyond your control, help her with the ticket. Then she may come up with a
more compelling reason, like her mother whom she dearly loves.


>> I like music, literature, sport, very like nature and many other  things.
>I
>> dream to meet with person, who will be a real friend for me, and do never
>> make me down, who will love me for who I am and respect my interests and
>who
>> will a real friend to my daughter.
>> The life isn't simply for me now but I hope the God will give me the
>> chance to be happy. I want know more about your character. What is
>> most important for you in a person. How do you spend your day?
>> I don't know too much about your country, but if you want you can tell
me
>> about this.

>> Odessa is a seas city placed on the seashore of the Black Sea. The center
>of
>> city have an old architecture, many museums, theaters, public places, art
>> galleries and monuments. Many beaches placed along seashore and many
>> tourists come to Odessa at all seasons.
>> Now the weather is fine and I like this weather whenit is not so cold. I
>go
>> to the seaside and to watch on the sea, especially in  the evening. I
like
>> dream at this moment. I'm fond of reading books particularly on rainy
days
>> or on a cold  winter evening.
>> What about you? What do you like to do when the rain is going?
>> I like animals and but don't have any by my own. I do not smoke and I
love
>> sport very much. I like swimming and skating. Do you like
>> sport? What kind of sport do you like? I love flowers and to grow them
up.
>I
>> love to travel very much.

Nothing criminal if it was someone from Moscow. But this just isn't the sort
of lifestyle you encounter in Odessa. I wonder where she skates there. An indoor arena? Too expensive for an unemployed girl. Note other places where she mentions expensive hobbies.


>> When is you birthday? I decided to place my ad in the Internet not in a
>> moment. After too much of thinking during long time I placed my ad. I had
>it
>> done just now.

I must say truth: I receive many messages from men. But I
>> placed my add at the Internet not for the correspondence. My main goal is
>> marriage. I sure, that a meeting is more important than writing a 100
>> letters! It does not mean that I believe we should not write. I believe
in
>> corresponding (short) as a way to exchange ideas and to know more about
>each
>> others dreams, desires, strengths, weaknesses and so on.

The above is profoundly un-Russian.

But as I said,
>our
>> meeting and taking time to become acquainted is most important!
>> I am sorry, I ask you a lot of questions but I would love to learn  more
>> about you, because I like you.

Please notice another thing: She does not write anything that is specific to
you. That is, this touching letter could be successfully re-used. No
explanation why she likes YOU. A genuine letter exchange is a dialogue.


>> Well I will closer my message and wait your answer soon. Pease send me
>your
>> photo and answer soon to :
>> helenc@tekom.odessa.ua
>> I wish you a nice week and keep smile.
>> Lena.

>> *********************************************************

>> Dear xxxxxl,
>> First of all, thank you for your letter and interest to me. I have
>> re-read your leter many times and I find that you are very attractive to
>me.
>> You seems to me so charming, intellectual and both serious and cheerful
>man.
>> I am not sure what to write or how to begin. I think it is more
>> difficult to meet with words, letters, and photos than it is in real
>> life, person to person. But I do think it might have some advantages.
>> It can be more personal in some ways. Maybe more honest.
>> Okay, I want to prepare you I am writing a long letter and it is not
>> usual for me, but I wanted to answer any questions that you might have
and
>> let you know a little bit more about me. Forgive me (in advance) if it is
>> boring to you.
>> IMPORTANT!
>> Although I have a computer on my own I just got service of Internet
>provider
>> for a correspondence, because before I had no
>> internet at my home, but I came to realize that if I want to find someone
>> for a life time I should start from somewhere. So, although it is hard
for
>> me to pay monthly for an internet I did my fisrt step to find you and got
>> internet. As the matter of fact, I read and write in English pretty well.
>I
>> speak English as well also,
>> but I have no an opportunity for a practice.


>> Well, my childhood. I have two vivid recollections from my childhood.
>> The first of them, this is teacher of calisthenics - strong, beautiful,
>slim
>> woman, who was in her thirties. I wanted to look like her very much. It
>> seems to me I reached this now, except the age:-)
>> When I was 12 years old I stopped my lessons, because I grew up taller
>than
>> 163 cm. It's maximum reasonable growth for calisthenics. It was very
>> ruefully. I had good achievements by that time.

>> And the second recollection is my farming in Grandparents little house. I
>> planted potatoes. It goes without saying I did this not by myself. I was
>as
>> an assistant of my grandmother. I cherished a hope to see results my
work,
>> but a whole plantation was eaten by the Colorado beetle. I hate those
>> beetles since then. :-)
>> I studied at a high school in Odessa after. After I finally went to the
>> manager college. I have graduated from those courses two years ago, and I
>> try to find a good job since then.

Here is the biographical information I was lookong for. Now I will stake my head that she not at all what she says she is. A person with her history will have difficulty expressing herself in her native tongue - and here we see well-structured and idiomatic English.

Even her errors look contrived.

>> I changed few places already, but I had no a success yet. So, finally I
>> chooce to stay home and to be able to watch my daughter. My mother can
>> support me time to time. My ex-husband does not help us and actually he
>got
>> married one year ago, and I haven't seen him since then.
>> We got divorced because he had found another woman and wanted to marry
>her.
>> Well, of course it was hurtfull, but it is over and now I am really
>> ready to start a new family with someeone who will never betray me
>> like he did.
>> I am calm, sincere, resolute and a tender person. I am a quite
>> romantic person too. I like nice everything, fashion clothes, difference
>> costume, jewelers. I like clothes of difference styles - different
>dresses:
>> two-piece, evening dresses, house dresses and high-necked dress too;
>clothes
>> of classic style and sport clothes.
>> I like an elegance shoes of different styles. Green, orange, black,
>> white, lilac, blue are my preferable colors. But my favorite color is
red.
>> I like very much a nature, flowers, a grass. I would like to plant
>> different trees, shrubbery's and flowers. My favorite flower is a
>> rouse.
>> I drink socially. I like a sweets and a champagne. I go to sport club for
>> aerobic and training. Sometimes I go to a swimming pool.
>> I enjoy watching TV, reading detectives, history and advantage
>> literature, love-novel, magazines and newspapers.
>> A sociable life is of importance to me, and I like to dress-up and go out
>> for dinner, dinner parties, meetings friends with. I have a
>> cultural side as well, which includes going to the theatre, opera, cinema
>or
>> art-exhibitions.

Something for everyone.

A girl who lives at home and is supported by her retired mother cannot do most of the things she lists.

>> I am a non-practicing Orthodox, although I have a strong belief in
>> cultural values and traditions. I also have a sense of humor and I
>> have a sense of adventure. I think a person needs to have an ability to
>> laughat life and himself sometimes.
>> My current lifestyle reflects that I am single. If I get involved in a
>> proper serious relationship my lifestyle will of course be adapted
>> accordingly - taking your wishes and dreams into account.
>> Unfortunately, it's very difficult (it's impossible) to find a match
>> in my country. The most part of men isn't able to support a family. If a
>man
>> is rather well-to-do, he behaves as snob. As I know the men, who live in
>> Western Europe, USA and other civilization are able to due a woman. It's
>> main reason of my search a soulmate outside Ukraine. How nice it would be
>to
>> have someone to share life with! Someone to share in your dreams and
>vision
>> someone to listen to and talk with someone who shares the burden, and the
>> joy of life! Is this too much to dream about?

Sounds like a pre-election program of New Liberals in Canada as I remember them from the early 80s

>> Please write me back and tell me about you, your family, and what your
>life
>> is like. Tell me about your job, interests, and what is important to you.
>> What do you dream about when you look up into the sky, on a cold, clear,
>> winter night, with the stars shining bright?
>> I know that this is a rather long letter, but you are the man! I
>> wanted to try and answer all of the questions that you may have, and let
>you
>> know more about me.
>> Of course, there is much more to ask you and tell you, but I want you to
>> know that I am interested in knowing you much more.
>> I hope to hear you soon.
>> Warmest regards,
>> Lena.

Such a long letter, and yet NOTHING ABOUT YOU. It seems like she keeps on
recycling this one, written for her by someone else.

>>
>> P.S. My birthday is August 16, 1976

Right, so that you don't forget to send her a present.

>> Dear xxxxxx,
>> It is pleasant for me to hear from you once again as apart of you
>> sound interest, it also means that you care.
>> I found your letter very interesting and very impressive, I really
>> would like to get to know you better, so hopefully one day soon enough,
we
>> would be able to meet in person and get what both of us are looking for.
>> I had more replies and to be honest with you, I found your letter the
most
>> interested, so I have choose to write to you.
>> Although I like travelling, I had never been abroad before, as I never
>could
>> afford to, but I really would like to visit other countries.

Note "I've never been abroad before"

>> Also I not afraid a difference in the mentality. I ready to assimilate
any
>> culture, nationalities basics and traditions. But I'd prefer to have to
do
>> with a close culture. I know, it will be very difficult for me to find a
>> job, at least at first time. But it's not impossible. If we would get to
>> like each other a lot through this correspondence, and decide to get
>married
>> or live together, how would your family and friends take it that you
would
>> be marrying an Ukrainian girl?
>> Would you like to have common children in the future? I believe that
>> such questions are really important to ask strait away.
>> I need a man to come home to, a man to give me his affections and one I
>can
>> give mine in return. I need a best friend and a sexual
>> lover.
>> I decided to place my ad hoping the right man would come into
>> my life and change it forever.
>> I must say the truth: I don't know exactly, what a type of man I look
>> forward. I need to feel my man. Therefore we need to spend some time
>> together. It seems to me, that the time for these exams will be longer
>than
>> one or two weeks. But, who knows? What about "chemistry"?
>> I believe to a love from the first sighnt! And you?
>> What things are important in your life? In a relationship, I think
>> trust is the single most important fundamental item. With trust,
>> understanding and commitment are possible. Without trust, nothing is
>> possible.
>> I think if you only look in a certain vicinity, you are not being fair to
>> yourself. Once again we share the same feelings about real life fairy
>tales.
>> I believe that when you meet that person with whom you can connect
>> intellectually, emotionally and physically, you feel like you are in a
>fairy
>> tale. I am very romantic, and enjoy quality time and emotional
connection.
>> I am a big believer in respect, especially when it comes to
relationships.

"Quality time" - that's not Russia, not even Moscow. That comes straight
from America or Canada.

>I
>> also believe very strongly in being faithful to my man. Maybe part of the
>> reason I feel so strongly about it is because I was in a relationship
>where
>> the other person was not faithful. I remember how bad it felt and how
much
>> it hurt, and I would not want to inflict that pain on someone I care
>about.
>> I also believe that relationships require work, just like anything else
in
>> life, if you want to gain the benefits, you must make the effort.
>> I shall stop here for today and I hope that you are still very
>> interested in me and write to me again when you can.  Take care.
>> With love
>> Lena.

A rather good sales pitch. You nod your head Yes. Then there will be a small money request. And then a bigger one. .

>> Dear xxxxxx,
>> First of all I want to thank you for having written, it really means
>> much for me. Thank you also for the pictures, very nice.
>> You have definitely given me some long, hard, serious thought to what you
>> want in life and in love.

Notice: No comments on the substance of your letter.

>> Ah, but now comes the other side to a relationship. So I will share my
>> thoughts with you: Two people need to make a commitment forever. Not just
>> the good times, but the difficult times as well. A man and a woman must
be
>> open to whatever changes may come their way. And yet, they must hold fast
>to
>> their belief in one another and their love. They must have the open
>> communications that are so vital - a willingness to talk about anything
>and
>> every thing. A deep acceptance of the others individuality - that they
>need
>> not be, think, act the same. In spite of the differences, they will
always
>> seek to return to the common ground which caused them to love in the
first
>> place.
>> It is all to easy to just give up on a relationship when times are
>> tough or when there are disagreements. It is so much more difficult to
>say,
>> "We will not allow differences to come between us". That is the biggest
>part
>> of commitment, and the hardest.
>> Yes, the warmth and sharing, the touch and the caring are important.
>> But the commitment to make it through the hard times TOGETHER is just as
>> important.
>> Two people who want to walk through life together must choose to walk the
>> rough climb as well as the gentle downward slope. They must face the
angry
>> words and disappointments and seek resolution, just as they must treasure
>> those quiet, intimate times.
>> To find one who can commit - who will never give up when times are
>> hard, that is the challenge.
>> One more fact. I know that a lot of men refuse to write to a girl if
>> she is paying for an internet and ask to help. I am one of those
>> girls. If it scares you, just write me and say so and I will
>> understand. My mother helps me to pay for the internet now because she
>wants
>> me to be happy but maybe one day I will have to ask for your help. I
don't
>> say it will happen for sure - just maybe. I just want you to be aware of
>it.
>> I have already spent some money on us getting acquainted closer - because
>I
>> really like the fact that you have written to me - but maybe with time it
>> will be just frank if you pay at least for the part of letters, I won't
>ask
>> you to pay for all. Just
>> to let you know I am paying 86 USD per month to have an internet at
>> home. I understand it is bad to talk about it in the 4 letter, but that's
>my
>> life.

Yes, here is the small request I said earlier would come up.

>> I am really tired of loneliness and having to care of myself. I want
>> to care of someone who will care of me, too! Is that bad?
>> Well, let it be all. Now when I am writing it and recalling my life I am
>> crying. Maybe this time destiny will smile to me, who knows? But I want
it
>> so much!
>> God bless you even if I don't hear from you again, I wish you
>> happiness - I believe that any person deserves it.
>> Sincerely and with love,
>> Lena.

Right, requests for money accompanied by tears. Remember what she did earlier to elicit your fatherly feelings?
>>
>> P.S. Also my full address and name is:
>> Elena Carlsen,
>> Odessa 65000,
>> Filatova 35-a, kv. 57.
>> Ukraine.

And no phone! Of course, because in the whole of Odessa no one speaks
English as you would expect from her letters. Now, when she does give you
her number, check that it is really Odessa. I doubt she will. She is not that sophisticated of an imposer.


>>
>> My Dearest xxxxx,

>I am very very happy to have your letter!!! Yes, we have a big
>holliday for yesterday and today, and of course I will forgive you for
>later flowers;-)
>Of course I got the money for my internet, thank you very much for
>that.

I assume it was Western Union? Then, if nothing else, Elena Carlsen exists.

>Well, I am living with Anastasia and my mother at my mom's appartment.
>Anastasia does not go to school yet, she will have to go there at 1st
>September. But who know, if we will be all together soon, she may come
>to the schook which is close to your home.....;-)
>Unfortunatelly this time I will not be able to bring Anasatasia with
>me to you, as I am alone will have no problems with geting visa as
>long as my little one is hear. That is going to be kind of proff for
>your Embassy that I will be back for her.

Have you checked the Russian Brides Black List compiled by Elena Petrova (South
Africa)? There is a link to it somewhere on my site.


>So, how is your day My Dear xxxxxx? It is a good one for me! I constantly
>think of you! I miss you so very much!
>My dreams is concerning about our meeting!!!!
>I will have to get my international passport which will cost 250 USD and
>will be done with in two weeks.

She is in a real rush. If she was ready to wait for a month or two, it would
cost her no more than $10.


>I called to your Embassy, they have advised me to aplly for a tourist visa.
>It is going to be visa B-2,
>and it is going to be valid during 90 days. It is costs 40 american
dollars,
>and plus I will have to
>go to Kiev to the Embassy in person to aplly for visa and next day I will
>get my visa. So I will to
>fly there as it is not save for a young woman to travel by train alone all
>night long, so I think
>the flyinght will be better. The price for two ways plane tickets to Kiev
>and back is 190 USD and 50$
>for the on night hotel util I wil be able to get my visa. But I do not have
>such money. I am so
>sad. I have found the man to love me and who I can love - and I can not see
>him, because I
>have no money necessary to arrive to you. Unless you can help me xxxxx??

Normally it is better if you come here. Whether it is Elena or someone else,
you need to get to know the context she is from. Ideally, you need to spend a length of
time in Russia to understand where you future wife comes from.

>Lovely xxxxx, if you want to help us to meet, you could transfer the
>needed sum to me and I will take care of everything to come to you.
>It is sad thing that money can brake two loving heart a part. Why is this
>money makes the
>worls goes around? I think, that money isn't most important thing in a
life.
>I think, the
>most important thing is people, the person that you love and those people
>that dearly
>loves you. Money is just a paper, but the human relationship remain for
>ever!
>We should trust each other because we like each other so very much and it
is
>seems like we meant to be together.

That's the culmination, and you've been well primed for it.

>I called to my aunt that is working for the Ukrainian International
>airlines at the airport and she said she can make two ways
>tickets to you with a student discount for 757 USD.
>Also she need to know what is the nearest international airport to you.
>So, looking at what I need to get done, I will need 1,287.00 USD
>;-((((
>I will be waiting for your letter soon,
>With all my Love,
>Lena.
>

With this oen the story is 100% clear. In the future I recommend you come here, and look for your lifetime mate from here, and avoid foreigner hunters.

Hope that helps

Pasha

HAPPY END

Dear Pasha! You are a gem! Not only do I appreciate the brilliance and
insight of you analysis, but also the humor. $100 is on the way to the
address you gave with note you stipulated, with gratitude that you can never
know.

I have to say, that as foolish as I may feel now, this was a good, if
slightly expensive, learning experience for me. Through your wise words and
insight I have paid only a fraction of the total stupidity in which I was
about ready to be engaged.

And I must also say that the kindness with which you and others have shown
in this matter negates any ill feelings I might have otherwise gathered from
this whole experience. I could have embarrassed myself further to you by
including my gushing replies to "her" notes, as well as the pictures; "she"
is exceptionally attractive, very young, although after studying the
pictures I began to wonder if they were truly of the same woman. A cute
snapshot of her daughter shows a big McDonalds cup in front. Maybe I am
being unfair: is there a McDonald's in Odessa?

I am very lucky. I remain the older and homely man (and I admit, lonely)
who even now is so susceptible to the whiles of these less scrupulous
persons, who I think besmirch the grander nobility and beauty of the good
people of the Ukraine. There is a lawyer in Moscow who makes a good
business of doing background checks on these people, and he will deliver a
report at some point in the near future. I am thinking of posting this
entire experience --- including the pictures and my replies, as much as it
pains me to expose my gullibility like this, on the scamsite I think hosted
by Elena Petrova. It would make for fun reading by anyone, I think, if
nothing else,and so would not be a total loss for me. Could I have your
permission to include some of your analysis if I did this?

The unexpected and maybe useful and pleasant irony to this is that I feel
more stimulated to exploring a more genuine and lasting interest in this
situation than might have otherwise been anticipated. You are correct in
your comments on the expectations men like me have in importing a spouse.
It is sort of sad and shameful that there is an extraordinarily lucrative
trade in the trafficking of "Russian brides". In a very real sense men such
as I deserve the humiliation we bring on ourselves with our stupid
"cultural arrogance" and misconceptions. So in a way, there is a poetic
justice that scammers like "Lena" are alive and well, taking what is
probably their justifiable and fair share of this new and sometimes
embarrassing market. I will tell you that in spite of this, I still think
the women of that part of the world are extraordinarily beautiful, most of
them are highly intelligent, and all of them are as sensitive and vulnerable
as I think I am. They deserve a respect and an effort that goes far beyond
the happenstance meeting on internet via provocative photographs and
cleverly composed notes. For me it means a desire to learn the language,
and know more of this culture which has been too removed from my experience.
So, already within the space of one week I am practicing the Cyrilic
alphabet, purchasing phrase-books and tapes, and have been acaquainted with
such nuances in custom as NEVER sending a dozen roses (odd numbers only),
never pointing with the finger, shaking hands with gloves off, and never
shaking hands across door thresholds. "Lena" was an aritfice, an old man's
fantasy come and gone, no harm to anyone really. I was lucky. It makes
for a funny story to tell my teenaged sons, and unwittingly has brought me
closer with a renewed respect and appreciation of a history, life and
language I had known earlier through the very cracked and distorted lens of
what used to be the Cold War. Coming to Moscow to line up a few dates is
really not my priority. Coming to Russia to see, hear, feel and smell the
land and those who populate it will be. An encounter with one of those
lovely ladies whose stunning photographs decorate the multitude of these
international dating services? Well, it would be nice if it happens, but
maybe much better things happen if fate is allowed to work its own
mysterious and unknowable course, without all those artifices.

I remain always in your debt. Spasiba!
Zhelayu vsego khoroshego.
……

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