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This page was written 3-4 years ago. Presently I take life a bit more seriously and would have offered my services as a driver somewhat differently. I'd take my best photo against a just-washed car. I'd mention 12 years of accident-free driving in Canada and surviving 7 years on crazy Russian roads. I'd suggest that hiring me, even at my somewhat elevated nominal rate, may still be good value because you get much more than a driver. But I'll let this piece my old joie de vivre be..

Links and contat details have been updated..

COMING TO MOSCOW?
NEED A CHAUFFEURED CAR AND MORE?

You are on your way to the cold, dirty, expensive, disorganized Moscow for business. Your time is precious, and there is no place for delays. Not a situation to take chances. You can afford no bull.    

To make your trip really count, you need an all-around logistic support:

• A driver to pick you up at the airport
• Someone to arrange meetings and confirm appointments before your arrival
• An interpreter well-versed in business and technology
  • More than an interpreter, but a COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT!!
• A reliable, comfortable, and practical chauffeured car
• a knowledgeable guide and a safe driver
• someone who remembers to take your visa to the authorities to have it stamped to avoid a fine on leaving the country
• a contact person in Moscow to do the follow up work

For all of the above call Uncle Pasha's
BUSINESS SUPPORT SERVICES
8-916-117-1527
or send an e-mail to  paul_voytinsky [at] yahoo [dot] com

Waiting for your is the best in our fleet*. A true VIP class vehicle, it has been skilfully adapted to the post-crisis Russia [it was written in the fall of '98 - replace by ????] personally by Paul Voytinsky aka Uncle Pasha, our senior engineer

• Compact yet comfortable, it doesn't stand out from the crowd. To further blend with the environment, we've decorated it with a few rust spots and dents, for a perfect imitation of a vehicle of no interest to either the police or crooks. No doubt, you are aware how fashionable it is for Russian businessmen to blow up each other [written in mid-90s and is no longer true]. And who knows, they may mistake you for someone else. The aesthetics of high explosives notwithstanding, you wouldn't want to end your Russian trip with a bang, would you? Well, have you heard of an old Renault ever going up?

• On-board 7 Watt cellular phone! Works in over 200 Russian cities and towns!!

• On-board computer!
• And finally, THE BAR.  To make it a true limousine, I always keep a bottle of vodka and a few plastic cups in the glove compartment. And a few beers in the trunk in the summertime. And a couple of books and miscellaneous newspapers on the shelf by the back window are my ON-BOARD LIBRARY. Everything your spiritual and intellectual enjoyment in addition to productive work!

And it all costs way less than you'd expect!

Compare -

Limousine rental in Moscow is $80-90 per hour, with 2 hours minimum, plus $45-55 flat fee. And all you get is a huge clumsy vehicle which sticks out like a sore thumb!  Helpless on snowy and icy roads too! And the driver is dressed funny, looks and walks as if a pickl was stuck up his ass, and speaks English that consists of several irritatingly well-rehearsed pseudo-English phrases...

- Overpriced.
And not quite right
for the job.

From us you get much more...  

Our vehicles are infinitely better adapted to local conditions.

We've gone to great length to find a car which, while comfortable and reliable, perfectly blends with the crowd. We've decorated it with rust spots and dents to further increase the mimicry effect. Artfully placed empty pop cans and plastic wrappers on the floor assure that you are not subjected to unpleasant psychological contrast when stepping out.

All all of our drivers are fluently bilingual. And of them are named Paul Voytinsky so that you don't get confused with long and awkward Russian names. In fact, all our staff, from CEO's to technical experts to the last errand boy and the cleaning lady, are called Paul Voytinsky.** [that was before Olesya and Ira and several other participants who joined our crazy venture in the last couple of years - Nov. 14, 2001 comment]

Although bearded and ugly as hell, and with a bit of an attitude, our drivers are capable of acting as professional interpreters, and are well-versed in heavy-duty subjects such as electronics, chemistry, natural resource extractions and processing, metallurgy and what not. And all you pay in just the driver's rate!        

                                                       ...For much less

Rates start at $25 hour! No flat service fee. Flexible payment terms! Cheques accepted! Beznal ("official" Russian inter-bank money) is fine too.

And the unlimited access to the on-board bar
is totally free!

And, as my free treat for those who are used to the look of a limousine, and a concession to your outdated value system, I am stretching the photo of my car for your aesthetic enjoyment.....

[PLEASED TO REPORT THAT'S WE'VE UPGRADED OUR FLEET TO A SOMEWHAT LESS BEATEN UP RENAULT-11, AND DID SO WITHOUT INCREASING OUR RATES!!]

Oh, almost forgot. Please meet Salvador-the-Roach, our Accommodation Expert. Click him to see what's happening in his (actually, our in-house leading biology expert kind of thinks it's her because she seems to be trying to lay eggs) department.

[Can't find that old pages with an attitude. I can only suggest you try Moscow Accommodation. Sorry.]

____________________

*Other fine vehicles available for your business and private needs: 

1.  A 10-speed with half of them amputated for further reliability
2.  An old standard bicycle for incognito exploration of the Russian countryside
3.  A light 2-sail catamaran for sailing the Volga and experiencing the true Russia, just the way you expect her to be. [For "True Russia" proceed to Rural Russian Travel and related pages - Nov. 14, 2001 comment]
[4. Our beasts of burden need to be mentioned too. See them in Andrei's Horseback Rides and Travel in the Staritsa district, on the Upper Volga, between Moscow and St. Petersburg]

CONTACT INFO

Go to..
Russian Travel Main Page  Index of Business Services

Last updated Nov. 22, 1998

Reviewed Feb. 2001 and found largely valid although clashing with the new improved corporate style, for which reason it is being hidden in obscure directories.. Reviewed again in November 2001 and allowed to live for its joyful attitude I still had back then..

Promoted courtesy of ADD ME!