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Winston's story Part 1
Dear Reader,
Hello. My name is Winston. I have been in Russia 2 times, spent a total of 6 months spent there, been to 9 cities, met hundreds of people, and dated many women there. As a result of my first-hand experiences and the lessons I learned, I would like to share some tips regarding traveling in Russia, Russian culture, and dating Russian women. Remember that none of these rules are absolute, and only meant as general guidelines to keep in mind. I hope you find this information helpful. If you wish to read about my adventures, you may view my 2 online photo journals of my Russian journeys at the links on this site:
http://www.americanwomensuck.com/travel_logs/wwu777/index.htm
They contain hundreds of photos in a slide show captioned format. If you have any questions, my email is WWu777@aol.com. Thanks and enjoy!
Tips for first-time travelers in Russia
Crash course in getting around your first time in Russia
If this is your first time in Russia and you hardly speak any Russian, you are apt to be nervous and confused about getting around. Don't worry though, it's easier than you think, especially when there's always people around, even in small cities, to ask for help. Here's a few quick tips.
First of all, unless you can pronounce your destination name or address in Russian correctly, you should ask your hotel receptionist, guide, translator, friend or any English speaking Russian person, to write it down for you on paper to carry with you. Or else take the brochure with your destination on it. Also, remember to bring the information of your return destination too. (Usually, the hotel entrance card you get after registering in will do the trick, since it usually has the hotel address on it.) Next, the first few Russian phrases you should learn are "Gdeh?" (Where?) and "Skolkah?" (How much?) or if you want to be more proper, "Skolkah stoit?" (How much is the price?) Those two words will get you around most places. You will find that they are most often used.
When you need to find something or are lost, you just ask people around "Gdeh (place)" or if your destination is written on a paper or brochure, show it to them after saying "Gdeh?" and they will point you in the right direction (psst, it's a great way to meet pretty girls too, who will often leave you their phone number if you just ask (yes it's that easy, trust me!)). Often, it's not enough to just be pointed in one direction because your destination may require turns, which would be difficult for you to understand and them to explain. Therefore, a good idea is to walk a few blocks in the direction you are pointed in, and then stop and ask someone else so you know whether to continue in the same direction, make a turn, or walk back to take a turn you missed. If you follow this method, little by little, you will find where you need to go. It works very well.
Also, "skolkah" or "skolkah stoit" is one you'll always be using as well, when you pay for things like taxis, buses, metros, hotels, groceries, retail items, etc. If you didn't learn to understand numbers in Russian before you arrived, just ask the person to write down the price for you, or give him a pen and notepad. That will solve the task.
Finally, after asking people for help or buying something, you should thank them by saying "Spashiba" (Thank you) or if you're feeling very pleased, say "Spashiba bolshoy" (Thank you very much).
Communicating
Here is where the skills of those who are resourceful or creative come in handy. Communicating with people who don't speak English can be fun sometimes and frustrating at other times. (It's fun when you're trying to get to know someone you like, but not so fun when you are trying to describe a problem, solve a dispute, or ask for your money back) Most people will have a lot of trouble even attempting to communicate here. Like most people, you will probably arrive in Russia with some phrasebooks and pocket dictionaries. However, I have found that something helps you a lot more - electronic translators. If you get them in the US, they are very expensive of course, but you can get some cheap efficient ones in Russia at department stores. Look for a section that sells electronics and ask to see them. They usually start at a thousand roubles and up depending on their vocabulary size and features. The ones that dictate words through a speaker though, are much more expensive.
The one I got says "Brilliant 2000" on it and only costed 1100 roubles (about 40 dollars) but works like a charm. It is simple, easy to use, and has a vast vocabulary range that will do what you need. In addition, it also has a simple Russian to English translation feature too, that will allow the person you're talking with to translate what they want to say back to you. And it's small and thin enough to put into the inside of your coat jacket. However, since it only translates one word at a time, you have to be a little creative in finding ways to get across a meaning. And as you might expect, some will be better at deducing what you're trying to say than others.
You will find that it also helps a lot to pay attention to facial expressions, when you can't understand what the person is saying. The facial expressions often give clues, for example if someone shrugs, has a puzzled look on his face and says "Niez nayu" you can deduce that he means "I don't know." With practice, you will learn to read these facial expressions. Also, if you have trouble getting something across, it often helps if you use analogies or examples to illustrate your point. It takes some practice to be good at that, and even then, you can only explain simpler things, not complex things.
Communication skills are something you have to practice or be resourceful with so not everyone will be good at it. If it helps you can just hire a translator or guide, but that would often cost a lot. Fortunately, I've always been talented in games like Pictionary, Charades, or Scrabble type games, so I've been able to use that to enhance my communication skills. For people like me, translators are often unnecessary. But for others, they may help a lot in making things more comfortable and easy to deal with. So if you need it and can afford it, I'd say go ahead and get a translator. However, I should tell you that the translators working for marriage agencies tend to be more expensive than independent ones or city tour guides.
Whatever the case, when speaking English in Russia, do not speak your normal fluent English, even with English-speaking Russians. Instead, speak slower and more carefully than you normally do, and avoid slangs such as "how come?". Talk as clearly and simply as you would with a little child.
Customer service - what to expect and what not to expect
Before you go to Russia, you must first drop the notions you have in the US of "excellent customer service to please the customer" or "the customer is always right" type of philosophies. They don't exist in Russia, and for many Americans, this comes as the first culture shock. The truth is, outside of luxurious 5 star hotels, customer service in Russia is unlike anything in the states. First of all, Russian businesses usually go by the book on everything, even if it involves small trivial things. Rarely will they go out of their way to do something extra for you. You have to pay for every little thing, even for butter, ketchup, or sometimes sugar cubes. Even if the staff wants to be generous to you, often they can't, because their bosses or owners are very strict, stingy, and wouldn't allow it. The staff would be scolded or reprimanded or fired if they didn't do everything by the book, even to please a customer. That's the mentality most Russian business owners have. Therefore, don't expect that customer service people will bend any rules to please you. It happens occassionally, but most of the time, it won't.
Also, in disputes, the customer is not always right like in the states. In fact, the customer is almost always wrong. Even if the staff or business messes up on something, they will not take any losses for it. Instead, you would have to take the loss for it. And if both of you are at fault, such as due to miscommunications, then you most definitely would have to take the loss, not them. Often, it is not worth it to argue with them about it, unless it has to do with a great sum of money. In that case, if you can't win, try to propose a compromise.
Remember that this is not America, and that Russians do not have the same concept of fairness and justice that we do. In fact, besides the customer service issue, many of the pros and cons you are used to in America are reversed in Russia. There are way too many for me to list, of course, but finding these things out is one of the fascinations of being there, because you learn something new everyday. So even in the bad times, try to see the positive in it. (And if you think they have it bad there, just remember that they don't have to deal with health insurance, car insurance, or mortgages like we do, which makes them a lot more stress-free and less likely to "lose it". I told you the pros and cons were reversed :))
In addition, things in general are just not as efficient as in America, so don't expect them to be. When something goes wrong, people there usually just shrug or laugh and say "It's Russia" because they are so used to such bureacracies and inefficiencies that they have learned to not take things too seriously. That's the mentality there, and part of what makes people so free-spirited and playful over there.
Taxis
Regarding taxis in Russia, in most cities outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg, they are very cheap, costing between 50 and 70 roubles per ride. However, in Moscow (though St. Petersburg is getting up there too) the taxis can cost anywhere between 70 roubles and 1000 roubles or more, depending on the distance you're going to, the traffic, and how greedy the driver is in trying to scam you. Therefore, the taxi rates in Moscow are VERY variable and unpredictable. That is why it requires bargaining skills to ride taxis in Moscow. It's simply a must, unless you are so rich that it's not an issue for you. Normally, it's best to take the metro, since it's cheap and doesn't always take longer than a taxi (the reason is because the heavy traffic in Moscow sometimes slows the taxis down to being not much faster than the metro). And you'll find that it's the case in Moscow, that getting anywhere takes a long time. It's unescapable and something you have to accept when you're there.
But if you find yourself in a situation where you have to take a taxi there (such as if the metro is closed after midnight, your legs are too tired to walk, you're with a girl wearing high heels, you have heavy luggage with you, etc.), here is what you need to do. After hailing a cab, if you can't pronounce your destination and street name in Russian, have someone write it on a piece of paper for you, or show them the card/brochure with your destination on it, and then ask the driver "skolkah" (how much) or "skolkah stoit" (how much is the price). Seeing that you are a foreigner, the driver will usually give a higher than normal price, such as 500 roubles. (Most of them know how to quote prices in English) Then you counter with a low price and offer 100 roubles. Usually they will say no way. So you work your way up and offer 200 roubles next, and so forth. Usually, they will cut it down a bit for you. If not, then just say thank you "spashiba" and then close the door, and hail another one. Usually, within three tries, you will find one that is decently priced. If not, then perhaps your destination is far away enough that it requires a higher fare. Oh and if he can't quote prices in English or you in Russian, just use a notepad and pen to write the numbers to show each other.
Also, when getting off a train station, avoid the hustling taxi drivers trying to offer you a ride. They are usually very shady and attempt to quote you prices way above the standard, hoping that you don't know any better. Many have quoted me 20 dollars at first, for a 3 minute ride, hoping that I didn't know it was only 3 minutes away, to which I laughed in response. Be warned though, they are very insistent, but don't give in. Instead, if you need a taxi, go to the street and hail one down. Or, if you're like me, avoid the hassle and try to use the metro or bus if it's convenient for you and your luggage is light. Outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg though, taxis are relatively inexpensive, so you can use them more often.
Now here is where the dilemma comes in. If you are with a Russian woman, it looks bad to her, even if she is a nice good person, to be bargaining with the taxi driver in front of her. Not only do men need to appear generous in front of a Russian lady, but they need to appear not concerned about money, regardless of whether they are rich or poor. And it embarrasses some Russian ladies to be next to a guy who is bargaining. Therefore, if a driver attempts to scam you, then you are caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, the driver is giving you an inflated price because you are a foreigner with extra cash to spare for them. But you can't defend yourself against it because it looks bad to the Russian lady with you. So what do you? It's not an easy dilemma to resolve. But here's what I would try. Don't have the Russian lady talk to the driver first (although it's tempting to just let her tell him the destination). Instead, you tell or show the driver your destination, asking your woman's help if needed, and then negotiate from there, but be quick about it. If you don't take too long, it won't look as bad to her. That's all I can say.
Oh and one more thing. Most Russian women are accustomed to walking and have strong feet (some even have blisters and veins on their feet to show for it :)). They are accustomed to taking buses, trolley, minivan buses, or metros and therefore won't have a problem with it. But there are a few though, who are too lazy to walk, ride buses or take the metro, and think they are princesses who deserve the high class treatment of riding taxis. In this case, you will have to make a decision as to whether you want to pay the price of keeping her, and if she's worth it. Normally, it's best to use both forms of transportation. For example, using buses and metros in the day when there's time to walk and sightsee, and using taxis at night after a long day when both of you are tired. However, there are some women who will ONLY ride taxis, and they are usually the same ones who like to order wine all the time too. That's when you have to make a judgement call about whether you want to expend the resources to keep someone like that or not. If you're not on a budget and are only there for a week or two, then it may not matter to you. Otherwise, it's another story.
Riding the bus or metro
If you're on a budget like me, you may find yourself taking buses and metros. They are much cheaper than taxis, very inexpensive, and sure beats walking. In almost any Russian decent sized city, the bus system is very comprehensive and frequent, and will get you to near almost any place. The fare is usually between 5 and 7 roubles per way, and students with a pass get on for free. During commute hours, you may find yourself packed tightly with too many people and no breathing space.
If you are new to Russia, here are some tips for learning to get around on buses. Again, as in the suggestion for riding taxis, have your destination name or bus stop name written down on a piece of paper or brochure. There are two ways you can do this. One is to show your destination to the bus driver, and then use some pantomime signals (by either pointing to your ear or mouth) to tell him to alert you when they reach your stop. Not all drivers will be able to understand you, but the ones that do are usually very reliable in remembering to alert you for your stop. The other more easier way is to ask a person on the bus to alert you when your stop approaches. Or they can tell you how many stops it will be before you get off. It's best to approach a younger person for help with this, since they are more likely to know some English. Then thank them by saying "Spashiba bolshoy". If you find that you just missed your stop, go up to the bus driver and say to him "Astanovka pajalst" (stop please or next stop please).
When you get on the bus, a ticket taker lady will usually approach you to collect the fare and issue you a thin paper ticket. On some buses though, there is no ticket taker and they use the honor system to collect your fares. You are expected to go to the front of the bus and give the driver the fare. But of course, many do not do that and simply enter and exit from the back of the bus. Also, during commute hours when buses are so packed that you can't move around, the ticket lady may not come to you to collect the fare. In that case, you can just get off without paying, cause there will be no way for you to do so. But be warned though, in some cities (such as Novgorod) they have a rule that if you forget to pay the ticket lady, she is allowed to fine you for 50 roubles as a late penalty fee. Sometimes, they may purposely not collect from you at first so that they can have an excuse to fine you, especially if you are a foreigner, in order to squeeze some extra cash from you.
With metros, use a similar strategy. You can take them in Moscow and St. Petersburg. They will get you to within walking distance of most places and main streets, though sometimes you may have to take a transfer bus from the metro station to your destination. The last time I was there, the fare was 7 roubles per way, but if you buy them in bulk quantity (with credits on a metro card in Moscow and tokens in St. Petersburg) the price goes down. For example, if you buy 10 credits at once, the price drops to 5 roubles per way, or 50 roubles total. When you're at the ticket window to buy the credits to the metro, you can just use your fingers to indicate how many credits you want to buy and put the cash under the window. She will give you your change and the metro card or tokens. It's best to learn how to say numbers in Russian though, in case you are buying more than ten credits. I would suggest at least buying ten credits each time though, since they are so cheap and it saves time to not have to stand in line each time you ride the metro.
At first glance, especially at the intricate vast metro map of Moscow, they can look intimidating if you can't read Russian. And you may fear getting lost in a maze. But don't worry, it's easier than it looks. The Moscow metro, in fact, is claimed to be the most efficient system in the world. Although your hotel or travel guide will have a metro map for you, it is best to get a wallet sized copy of it to have ready any time you need it. It is easily obtainable in stores all around the area. When you get lost, you can pull it out and ask people for help by pointing to your destination station. The beauty of the metro is that there is never a shortage of people around to ask for help. And again, try asking a young person because they are more likely to know some English.
It is best to be get acquainted with the Russian alphabet first, so you can read the metro signs in Russian. You can get acquainted with the whole Russian alphabet in two hours by going here: http://langintro.com/rintro/null.htm This site will teach it to you almost effortlessly. When you descend the long escalator into the metro station, you will first have to decide whether to take the train on the left or right. You do that by looking at the sign extending from above, which lists the names of the stops in both directions in Russian. Look at the station name on your piece of paper or brochure, and find it on the sign above to know which train to take. If you're lucky, it will be on the same line. If not, you will have to transfer lines to get to it. Look at your metro map card and first find the station you're at, then your destination station, and then plot a course using a transfer route to get there. You will then focus on the transfer station between the line you're on now and the line you need to get to. Match the Russian spelling of that station on the card to the one on the sign above to know which train to take to get there. (Note: Although your metro map may have the names of the stations also written in English and Russian, the metro signs will only have them written in Russian, sorry :)) Then follow the arrows on the signs and take the train heading in that direction.
Onboard the train, you will usually find a copy of the metro map along the wall. Stay near that map, and count the number of stops to your station or transfer station. Then pay attention each time the train stops, so you will know how much further it is to go. At this point, if you learned the Russian alphabet, it will come in handy because you can listen to the intercom which announces each station as it stops, to gauge where you're at on the map. Listen for these words at each stop "Stanzai ....... (station name at this stop). Sleduchei stanzai (Next station is......)" If you get confused or lose track of which station you're at, ask someone nearby. Point to the station currently outside, and then the map and say "Gdeh?" (where?) or "Stanzai zavut?" (station name?)
And by the way, if you're boarding or leaving a train, and you hear the words "Asteroznah divi ukravaitsa" then hurry up because it is cautioning you that the doors are about to close! If you hear this and you're still outside the train, you may start pushing the crowd in front of you a little to hurry up and get in. It is common practice in Russian metros for people to push their way in before the doors close, as long as they do it gently and firmly. Otherwise, the doors could close in on your body, which can be unpleasant. Believe me, it's happened to me before.
This might seem tedious at first, but don't worry, it gets a lot easier with practice. You don't need to be brilliant to figure it out, you just have to pay attention. And when in doubt, it's best to ask someone near you for help, otherwise you could waste a lot of time being lost. Even if they don't speak English, they will try their best to help you. Remember that in Russia, people are not so individualistic or stuck on privacy like in the West, so it is ok to directly approach a stranger for help. So don't be shy or too proud to ask for help.
Finally, here's some warnings to keep in mind. Beware of pick pocketers in the metro station. They tend to lurk where it is most crowded. For example, in St. Petersburg, at the transfer station from the red line to Nevsky Prospect station, which is at the heart of the city center, there is a train door where tourists commonly pass through. The pick pocketers know this and hang out there, hoping to catch foreigners with cash and valuables on them. I had my bags unzipped there before, and paper pulled out my back pocket as well. So it's best to have your cash and valuables either in your front pockets, secure pockets, or passport protection belts tucked inside your shirt (see the section on Carry cash and other valuables). Avoid putting your wallet or cash in your back pocket.
Also, although the St. Petersburg metro entrance gates utilize a nice round carousel structure that you just push and turn, the Moscow ones are quite different. There, you have to slide in your metro card, take it out, wait for the green light to appear, and then walk through. Now here's what to watch out for. If you forget to take out your metro card when it pops up and try to walk through the gate, the barrier gates imbedded in side slots will spring out in front of you. Many new people to Moscow, both Russians as well as foreigners, make the mistake of forgetting to take their card back out. Remember that you always have to take the card back out, even if you've just finished the last credit on it, to activate the green light that lets you go through. It is not like the subway system in San Francisco, for example, that eats up your last ticket if there's no more money left on it. People can easily confuse that kind of system with the Moscow one.
Now, if the barrier gates spring out in front of you, all you will get is a little shock or surprise. However, if you're walking too fast through it, it can actually nab you in the sides. Ouch! Some guys at my hostel have told me that when they were nabbed by these gates, that it seemed that it was aimed at their crotch area, which was very unpleasant. (I guess the powers that run the Moscow metro system like to use fear to condition people to obey laws?) Fortunately, I haven't experienced that, only the shock of having them spring in front of me when I was new. The point is, it's best to walk through those gates in a normal pace, so that even if you take out your card and activate the green light, in case of some malfunction, you don't get nabbed in the sides by these barrier gates.
I've noticed two types of barrier gates though. One type looks like old plastic or wooden boards that spring out firmly, but wouldn't hurt as much if you got caught between them. The other kind though, which are made of crude metal and spring out in a triangle shape, are the ones that can hurt if you get nabbed in the body by them.
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