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Russian Misery Tourist
DOG RENTAL FOR A TRUE HOME FEELING
Revealing a new unique sophisticated marketing ploy unfairly drawing on the subtle strings of human nature.
"A TRUE HOME GOT TO HAVE A DOG"
This proposal has been devised personally by kill-joy grouch Uncle Pasha during one of his periodic exacerbations of intense dislike for everything that dares to display joie de vivre in his presence, as this dog too often does...
FOR A TRUE HOME FEELING
"Busik" will chew up your shoes, keep you awake at night and express how happy he is to see you by peeing on the floor.
His incessant activity will take your mind off the many hassles and occasional serious troubles associated with visiting this land.
On the positive side, he can act as a good cover-up, making you, a filthy rich foreigner with money to burn, look like a poor local, of no interest to criminals that you, a victim of capitalist propaganda, mistakenly think lurk behind every corner.
He will also help in establishing contacts and social integration: in his presence people turn irritatingly chatty, which a fellow like you will probably like.
...This document is part of the new revolutionary concept tentatively entitled
Bolshoi Russian Misery trip. Direct your Misery Tourism inquiries to Uncle Pasha personally at firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com
Sane people interested in normal travel please proceed to Moscow Accommodation or contact Olesya at firstname.lastname@example.org