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Russian Misery Tourism
MISERY OPTIONSParticipation and detached observation are two basic approaches for enjoying all the misery Russian can generously bestow upon a true connoiseur capable of seeing beyong the "good is good and bad is bad" logic.
Participation is recommended to the beginners who are not yet capable of full and uncomprimising cynicism.
Those more advanced in their disdain and hatred of humanity will appreciate the view from the comfort of their hotel.
IMMERSION
"Come look at, laugh at and feel for
those people not quite so fortunate as yourself"Your individual trip can be carefully crafted as a participatory experience.
You will be given the opportunity to sample heartburn-inducing food from bus station eating establishments. As a special treat you'll be allowed to use washrooms with toilets that consist of a hole in the floor - a site usually kept hidden from package-tour travellers.
On your request for a small extra fee we will arrange for your money and documents to be stolen. If you prefer, we'll treat you to the memorable thrill of a knifepoint robbery..
We want to give you more than just close observation. We want you not just see real Russia, but feel like a true Russian. Consumption of copious amounts of vodka combined with smoking filter-less cigarettes - unlimited supply is included into our Misery PackageŽ - will produce a lingering headache and nausea which, combined with a swallen face, will give you a glimpse into an average Russian's internal universe.
Falling through uncovered manholes and stepping into excrements exemplify the little sparkles we'll thrown all over this immersion tour.
DETACHED OBSERVATION
You may, on the other hand, prefer to observe and contemplate life from a less involved perspective.
From the luxury of your hotel or the comfort of your apartment you'll see garbage-strewn streets full of aggressive obnoxious beggars, flat-headed criminals with their jeeps and gold chains, and ugly prostitutes oozing with desease.
We will supply you with a professional commentator who will show, in a fun and comprehensible way, that people create the vast majority of their own problems, thus helping you shed the last traces of sympathy that keep you from reaching the bliss of not giving a damn.
Write to inbox@unclepasha.com, paul_voytinsky@yahoo.com to arrange for this unique and enlightening or perhaps endarkening experience.
Background for this page:
A bat from one of the caves in the higher bank of
the Volga near the Village of Dubrovki which
you are cordially invited to visit if you are interested in
rural Russia and are willing and able to make a contribution
to our hopeless cause. ,